Monday, March 2, 2015

A perfectly lovely day at the park

This morning we went to the farm.  It was a sunny morning with just a hint of chill wind.  Eloise rode the bus to work with Daddy, so we picked her up on our way to Bellevue to go to Kelsey Creek Farm Park.  We also collected the Christensens, but we took two cars so that they could get Grant back for kindergarten on time. Jared had a little mishap with the extra long t-shirt he was wearing, and his perpetual distracted-ness, even while using the bathroom, and ended up going to the farm in one of Grant's shirts.  
 The great thing about the farm is that the animals don't really get to go off display.  The farm workers turn them all out into their pastures and yards in the morning, so we always get to see every animal.
Another great thing about this farm is the playgrounds/sandboxes/tractors placed every few feet so that not all members of the party have to be equally fascinated with animals for all to have a great time.
 There isn't really any question about the Knight children's interest in animals.  All four farm bunnies were just eating breakfast, and the ducks were splashing like crazy in their little pool.
Grant, Max, and Price got to run to their hearts' content, and all of the children except Price played Wild Kratts on the playground.  
 We saw all of the animals, played in the sand boxes, climbed on the tractor, and headed back to the playground for lunch, where Eloise weighed her urge to use the bathroom against her hunger and decided to hold off going to the bathroom, which turned out to be a mistake.  Fortunately I had an extra pair of pants for B which were just a tiny bit short on her.  
After a big combined picnic, a lot of squirrel chasing, and some time on the playground,  the Christensens left to get Grant to kindergarten on time.  I let team Knight play a little bit longer, and then I rounded them up.  That is to say, I announced that we are leaving, and Jared and Eloise climbed into the stroller with many protests.  B ran the opposite direction.  When I ran after him, he began to have a tantrum.  He started screaming something about the playground being the source of granola (ganilla) bars.  When he showed that he was determined to run the opposite direction from me, no matter what, I hoisted him over my shoulder with one arm, only to discover that he had poop all over his shirt, rain coat, pants, and diaper.  The only thing to do was keep him flung over my shoulder, flailing and screaming, and push the stroller to the car where I could change him without him escaping.  When I came to a sharp curve to get onto a bridge, I asked Jared to get out of the stroller, since he made it too heavy for me to turn and push uphill one-handed.  

Me: Jared, can you please get out of the stroller? I can't push it here with one hand, and I can't put B down or he will run away.
Jared: No.
Me: Okay.  I will just have to leave you here until I get B strapped into his car seat.  I can see the car from here, and I know that you can walk that distance under your own power.
Jared: I don't want to walk! Stop yelling!
Me: I'm not trying to yell! I can't hear how loud I am because B is screaming in my ear! Can you please help me?  Can't you see that I really need help?!
Jared: Noooooo!

At that point I abandoned the stroller because squirmy, screaming, kicking B was trying to flip over on my shoulder, which would have resulted in poop in my hair.  Eloise started to cry because I was leaving her, and Jared jumped out of the stroller hollering his own protests at the cruelty of a world that, as it turns out, does not to revolve around him.  All of this was observed by a group of well dressed elderly Asian people who were just arriving at the park for a peaceful communion with nature.
The resources of my bottomless diaper bag were a bit strained, as Eloise was already wearing the extra pants and socks I carry for B, and I used my final four wipes cleaning B up, so B got to come home in Eloise's spare pink shirt, a purple diaper, and his shoes and socks, because, pants be hanged, he was deeply troubled by the idea of the car starting without his shoes on.  Eloise ninja-kicked B in the head because he was wearing her favorite pink zebra shirt, not recognizing the irony of the situation, as she was wearing his favorite fleece sweatpants.  I'm sorry to say that this resulted in more shouting from me about how unacceptable it is to kick one's brother in the head under any circumstances, but especially those presently before us.
I must say I have learned my lesson.  I am no longer in any hurry for baby #4 to arrive in this family.  As foolish as I look with a giant baby belly and a toddler flung over my shoulder, I can't imagine that a squalling baby would have improved upon this scene in the slightest.  I post a lot of cute pictures of our family having delightful adventures, but this is a real family.  Not every outing to the park is idyllic.  My main consolation in this case is a mental picture of all of you (and myself, in a far distant future) getting a good laugh at how thoroughly we all fell apart this time, especially you, Mom.

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